Small Comfort
by Kellifer
Summary: Samantha Carter finds comfort in an unlikely place.


Disclaimer - I do not own any of the characters and/or situations portrayed on Stargate. I have borrowed them to tell a story.

-Small Comfort-

Arms, hands, breath.

They had moved together and it was right, oh god, so right.

They had gone to his quarters. They hadn't really known it was going to happen, but they had both needed something. Something to take the pain away, just for a little while. She had reached up to brush the tear from his eye. He had captured her hand in his own and turned his face into her palm, breathing her scent deeply. She had smelled of soap and honey. A strange mixture that worked to dull his senses. Her pupils had grown large and she had taken in a sharp breath and he had looked into her eyes.

He had leaned forward, meaning to just take her into his arms to hold her but her face had come up and he found his lips on hers. He hadn't meant to, she hadn't meant to, but it had happened. They had kissed until both were breathless. Still, it would have ended there, and perhaps then their friendship would have also. He took a step back, not wanting to hurt her or offer more than he could give, but she had stepped forward to match him, palms coming up to lay flat on his chest and her hands had been hot, searing him through the rough fabric of his jacket and the t-shirt beneath.

Still, they hadn't then reached the point of no return until his own hands had come up and circled her waist, thumbs accidentally delving below her shirt to the bare flesh beneath. He had meant to push her away, he just couldn't do this, but that touch had jolted him and wiped his mind of any protest. Instead his hands clenched, digging into her skin and had yanked her forward, almost off her feet, crushing her to him. Her hands pushed upwards, caught his jacket and pushed it off. It had fallen to the floor with a quiet thump. His heart was beating fast and his mind had made one last ditch attempt to stop this insanity. "Sam-" He had begun, but she had shaken her head, moving hands beneath his t-shirt and pushing that upward too, silencing any protest he had when she placed her mouth on his chest.

A sigh escaped him and that was all she had needed. She had pushed his shirt the rest of the way off, yanking it over his head and he had let her, mutely accepting. He in turn had pulled her shirt off too and she shivered as his long, clever fingers trailed down her back and tossed the shirt aside.

They had tumbled backwards and for the next little while had lost themselves completely in each other. They both laughed and cried and sighed. They didn't care who heard them. They were beyond that now.

And afterwards they lay on the single bunk, wrapped around each other, neither one wanting to be the first to move away. They both knew this would never, could never happen again, but for now it was such a comfort that it would be painful to pull away. They had suspended reality for a little while and neither of them had wanted to start it back up again. Once started, they would both be raw and hurting and not able to heal.

She had raised a hand to his face and laid her palm on the smooth cheek, gently running her fingers along the jaw. She loved this man and what he had done for her

and she had hoped that he knew that. Hoped that guilt would not colour something they had both so desperately needed. For a little while his weight, his smell, his touch had crushed all other thoughts out of her mind. She had needed that so desperately because otherwise she thought her mind might have shattered. It had been too much to bear.

"Sam-" He began again and she growled, knowing any words would break the spell and bring the real world back with an ugly crash. She reached for him again but this time he caught her wrists in one hand and held them. "I-"

"Don't speak. If you're thinking about apologizing, don't do that either. If you do, it will make this wrong somehow, and it wasn't. You have to know that it wasn't," She said, staring intently into eyes she knew so well. He let go of her wrists and brought his arms back around her, but it had become awkward and she knew that the moment has passed for both of them. She sat up, severing the connection completely. She stood, pulling her clothes on, pulling them free from the tangle of his clothes first and that was it. It was now truly over. She crossed to the door and he blinked at her in that owlish way of his.

She smiled and her hand strayed to the bookcase beside her, crammed full of all his ancient tomes and texts to the glasses on the third shelf from the bottom. She walked back over, handing them to him.

"Thanks."


End file.
